Today, my daughter said, "We're supposed to pretend that nothing is wrong." I was silent. How had she learned this lesson already? What have I done to teach her that?But, it's true. One of the social "rules" is that we are supposed to pretend that there's nothing wrong, or at least not anything serious.
A couple of weeks ago, I sat in a church meeting consisting of only women. The topic of the day was pornography. We politely discussed ways to keep pornography out of our homes and the reasons that pornography is bad. Again, I was silent. How many of those women are being directly impacted by pornography? Statistically, quite a few. But, no one would make the discussion personal.
We want everyone to think our lives are just fine. To admit that there are problems beyond mildly naughty children, dirty diapers, and lots of laundry is like admitting that we are failing. Living the gospel is supposed to make us happy. If we aren't happy, we must be doing something wrong.
Well...maybe. Maybe we're doing something wrong. But, on the other hand, it may just be that trials come in to everyone's lives. People carry all sorts of secret pain - hidden illness, sorrow due to the acts of others, regret for our own actions, simple everyday stresses. Saying that they often aren't pretty is an understatement.
We need the support of others to get through this life. We need to all become kind, loving, non-judgmental women helping each other and lifting each other through our trials, self-made or not.
I don't know how to do this, but I'm going to try to figure it out. In the meantime, you may not want to ask me, "How are you doing?" unless you really want to know.
1 comment:
You are right on the money on this topic, I agree fullheartedly. In fact I remember commenting on this very subject in a room full of the very same women. A few times I've been expressive about what's going on in my life, nursery, marriage, parenting, whatever, just to have people become very overly anxious for me. As tho what I said was only the tip of the iceberg. But, no what I said I meant. nothing more, nothing less.
On the subject of "P" I spoke with a man who developed a program for pc's that would alert a "mentor" if and when the person was "using", he had some very alarming details, mentioning that it was impossible for people to overcome without help. So, at some point we are all going to have to get in the trenches and bail our brother, sister, child, husband, wife, whatever, out.
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